Kerfuffle
Pylon
Bombastic
crabs
Ewok
JR Hartley
Quintuple
The Story:
J.R. Hartley was out potting for crabs. He rarely went out fly-fishing anymore, as his fly kept getting tangled up in overhead power cables that were suspended by pylons. He loved his new hobby and today was special because he was hosting a dinner party later and crab was on the menu.
He was hoping for a good haul today, as yesterday he only caught a quintuple of crabs. This would not be enough for the party tonight. Mr Hartley was in luck today the catch was hansom and he caught plenty of fat juicy crabs. To spice up the dinner party he had made it a fancy-dress only affair, with a sci-fi twist. Tonight he was going to dress up as an Ewok from Star Wars. He was absolutely hooked on the film and even owned his very own Ewok style tree house.
Time was pressing on and the guests had all arrived. There were klingons, aliens galore but what really saddened him was that there was no princess Leia. Mr Hartley served the food which was well received, but strangely he insisted that people left their costumes on, even those with headpiece, like Darth Vader opposite. Some of the guests simply could not eat the food properly due to his restriction. At first nothing was said but after the second course some of the disgruntled guests started to pipe up. Mr Hartley thought that the whole kerfuffle was hilarious and started to laugh at all his guests. Mr Hartley’s happiness was short lived though as the Cyberman next to him stabbed him with a fork in the back of the hand. He’d been hit pretty hard and the fork was in deep. He managed to yank out the blood covered steel and patched his hand. To ease the tension Mr Hartley allowed the guests to remove their head pieces for the desert.
After the meal Mr Hartley decided to get some dancing under way. The guests were thinking something slow such as a bit of Mozart. What he kicked of the party with was Mr.Bombastic by Shaggy. The guests soon left the party as this was not their scene, but JR was undeterred, he had had a great night, except for the incident with the fork.
The Picture:
This is not disturbing. More disturbance please.
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised there wasn't any reference to Yellow Pages. Very dissapointed with this story.
ReplyDeleteI think its all so GAY
ReplyDelete"Mr Hartley’s happiness was short lived though as the Cyberman next to him stabbed him with a fork in the back of the hand"...
ReplyDeleteAlternate ending:
The fork was removed from the hand of JR Hartley. This in turn triggered a catastrophic series of events (similar to that of global warming at an ultra accelerated rate).
The puncture wound created an enormous vortex and the whole world began to be sucked inside another dimension within Jr Hartley.
First the quintuple of crabs disappeared, followed by an autographed copy of 'Fly Fishing', then his life subscription and free supply of 14,833 Yellow Pages vanished inside him.
Things became difficult due to the kerfuffle going on inside the room, as each of the guests was trying to escape by any means possible. The Cyberman who had started the chain reaction was hopelessly climbing on to a pylon from the dinner hall window, but the vortex was too powerful. He was afraid. Very afraid. If you could imagine how it must have felt to be stranded in New York on that sunny day in September all those years ago, you'll come close to understanding the feeling of the terror that must have been inflicted upon these people).
Slowly each of JR's dinner guests died a terrible and most painful bloody death, being sucked through an incision left by the prongs on the fork (in this case we can settle for four).
The incisions acted like a plug hole, and with great suction and furious anger, the whole world and the universe beyond was dragged into another dimension within JR Hartley himself.
Finally, after life as we know it ceased to exist, JR Hartley was sucked through the incision on his own hand. This caused the vortex to close, leaving the world and the universe beyond trapped within another dimension within the hand of JR Hartley for ever and ever.
Amen.