Amputee
Colostomy Bag
Fez
Monkfish
Commode
Guzzle
Self - mutilation
The Story:
Since having a colostomy bag fitted Bob had lost all faith in the human race. It was time to get even. Taking a leaf from his TV hero, he started to wear a fez and saying “just like that”. He had it all planned out. The next person who came round to try and sell him something on the doorstep was in for a surprise. He stated by hiding DIY tools in the commode that he used to use before the bag was fitted.
Two weeks had passed and a life insurance sales man came by. Bob invited him in and the salesman got to work. Bob signed up for the insurance and just when the salesman was going to leave Bob flipped open the lid on his commode and produced a hacksaw. Bob shouted at the salesman and started hacking at his arm. Blood started to spurt from his artery and with a few more sharp motions his arm was severed. He announced it with a calm voice “just like that.” Bob then started to guzzle down his own blood from his severed arm and rubbing himself with a filleted monkfish. The salesman by this time had fled the house at the sight of the amputee. Bob did not stop here. He carried on with his self-mutilation with a hammer drill and the rest of the contents of the commode. Within five minutes Bob had collapsed to the floor in a pool of his own blood, his heart beating its last beat.
The Picture:
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