Thrust
Clunge
Jiggle
Screwball
Coagulate
blunderbuss
Okey
Bamboozle
John McCririck
Taser
Milky orbs
floppy
Kibbutz
Oedipus
The Story:
John McCririck’s mind is one that has never been fully understood. Everybody knows he’s a shovanistic pig, but he never wanted to be this way. He wanted to be far more exotic and live the life of a world renowned magician that uses the power of bamboozle to make a lucrative living. He always wanted to be the choice of the rich and famous, earning large amounts of money at private functions. The longing was to have Turkish belly dancers thrust their milky orbs in his face and jiggle, while local businessmen play okey and drink whisky in the background.
Life for John as strange as it is, is far less glamorous. He has deep routed psychological problems ever since he found out his brother carried out the same act of Oedipus and killed his father to win the affections of his mother. Incest and murder destroyed John and led to the many years of electric shock treatment. At bad times his wife Booby administers top up treatments using a taser to the temple. At the time of treatment the thoughts of his mind fire off at all angles, like shrapnel fired from a blunderbuss.
John knew if he was ever to recover and get past this he needed to confront his mother and brother once and for all. The two of them fled the country twenty years ago and set up a Kibbutz in Israel. John travelled out by plane and he had his plan. He told his wife he was travelling for some research for a channel 4 programme later in the year, but he knew he was going to go to Israel and murder the two people that had fucked his mind so long ago. He arrived with a drive rarely seen by the fowl mouthed blingster. He resided in a town 10 miles south of the farm his mother and brother owned. He was staying here while he got the equipment he needed. He would never have got though customs with these knives and gags.
Two days later John pulled up to the farm in dead of night and snuck into the barn. He knew they would come in here sooner or later and he would be ready. He didn’t need to wait long, and as the door squeaked he saw his mother. He lacerated her with a machete and she howled in pain. Blood was pouring out but she was still alive and in agony. For the first time in years a glimpse of a smile flickered in John’s face. The screams had alerted his brother and he soon came in. His brother was stunned by the sight of his by now whimpering mother/lover. John quickly sprung into action and gagged the deviant and strung him up on the pullies in the barn. In one sharp swoop John cut his mother flange from her being. It was dripping with coagulated liquid that looked like the inside of a half empty warm screwball carton. John removed the gag and in an instant suffocated his brother with his mother’s hot floppy clunge.
The Picture:
