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The Words:Gleet
Cravat
Millionaire
Stiff
Spandex
Dimple
Snitch
Super poo
Curly wurly
Cock-a-doodle-doo
AlpenSergey Bubka
Shrimp
gothicThe Story:Mr Motivator has just come back on our screens in the role of fitness instructor to the dole masses. During the time away from the screen he hung up his spandex and cravat and took on a multitude of work. One of the main pieces of work was a collaborative event with Gillian McKeith where he was used to analyse people’s super poo, for use on her programme. During his research he analysed poo of all different constancies and varying shapes. He quickly got disillusioned with the job after Gillian took all the credit and became a millionaire swiftly. The breaking point came when he was expected to look at all kinds for anal gleet that was produced by people on poor diets; so they hastily parted company.
After parting company with Gillian times got hard and he turned to advertising roles. First he advertised Kellogg’s cornflakes and dressed up as a cockerel that danced around the street chirping cock-a-doodle-doo an effort to promote the health benefits of eating the brand. He has also done adverts for rival company Wheetabix for their Alpen brand. Perhaps the strangest advertising role he undertook was for Cadbury’s advertising the Curly Wurly chocolate bar where Sergy Bubka is wearing a Curly Wirley straightjacket to stop him winning the Cadbury’s cup in the chocolate pole-vault.
The lack of any concrete work led Mr Motivator to become withdrawn and he joined a gothic cult, which worshiped the shrimp. It was their belief that Dimple was the king of shrimps was and by worshiping him they would become the most important and powerful organisation in the world. All was going well with this until he was given a stiff reality check when a snitch from the group unveiled his unusual life choices on the internet. The Picture:
The Words:Sticky
Flaps
Window licker
Ferret
Gypsy
Dialysis
soppy
Floppy
Volkswagen Camper-Van
Bonjela
Canoeist
Banjo
Cheese string
Oreo
Bono
ColonoscopyThe Story:At the Holesway hospital Dr Gradas named the colonoscopy equipment Bono, due to the irritation it causes to the people that it came into contact with. Dr Gradas had had the displeasure of meeting Bono years before at a party when he pulled up in his blinged out Gypsy Volkswagen Camper-van. It was one hell of a beach party until the window licker showed up trying to take over. People were eating things from their childhood like cheese strings and making milkshakes with flavoured with oreo’s and sticky bonjela, for that numbing sensation.
Bono strutted in with his usual swagger, strangely cradling a banjo. It wasn’t long before he was strumming away trying to serenade everyone he came across. He really couldn’t play it sounded like the kind of noise made when you electrocute a small lizard.
This soppy side of Bono was not going down well at all and a decision was made to get of him so Dr Gradas stepped out to his car and came back with a mild sedative and a dialysis machine. First he administered the sedative and as Bono went floppy he connected the dialysis machine and set it to work. Vast quantities of vodka were introduced to the machine and it was only a matter of time before he would be out cold. With a few flaps of the valves adding the vodka Bono glassed over and slumped to a heap; and a big cheer and a few cackles erupted on the beach.
Dr Gradas disconnected the equipment and took it back to his car, but the party goers were not finished with Bono. A crowed gathered around the campervan and removed the canoe from the top. Bono obviously fancied himself as a bit of a canoeist and he was going on his last trip. He was heaved into the canoe and pushed out to sea without a paddle never to be seen again.The Picture:
The Words:Moonwalk Feltch Scalp Margarine Fadge Madge Milkshake Mafia Katie Price Bowel movements MeatballKaleidoscope Adrian Mole Yeti Toad-in-the-hole Kahlua Sven Glenn The Story:Anne Charleston played the character Madge in Australian soap Neighbours for many years but now work has dried up. In recent times she has turned to more exotic roles to make a crust. Recently she starred in an adult version of Adrian Mole, aptly named "Toad in the hole". She has also starred in a football themed adult movie called "England managers – Sven vs Glenn" and a scat movie where she swallows bowel movements and rubs excrement in her scalp.The transition has not been easy for Anne and she has turned to drink as a cope mechanism. Her main tipple is kahlua and in drinking this the world is distorted into a kaleidoscope. In this state no one can hurt her, which is just as well because comments of Madge’s fadge and innuendoes of Harold’s meatball(s) are never far away. She was recently asked to make a felching movie, but even for her this was a step too far. Although the money was very good she reluctantly declined the offer for a strange film where she would make sexual acts on slippery food and drink such as margarine and milkshake before bizarrely conducting the naked moonwalk across the set with a man in a yeti outfit. Due to the rapid change in direction in her career Anne was getting a lot of attention. The only person who was getting a similar level of press was Katie Price following the breakdown of her marriage. Rumour has it that Anne’s movies are being funded by the Mafia, and her unwillingness to take part in felch films may put her life in jeopardy. The Picture:
