Nice To See You...

The Words:

Conundrum
Engulfed
Embrace
Bruce Forsyth
Pristine.

The Story:

Bruce Forsyth even in his old age always keeps up his pristine appearance. I know what you are thinking; isn’t he dead yet? No he's not, and he never will be. The Forsyth will never die because he is half man and half machine. He sold his soul to the computer age in the late ninety’s to Japanese giants Honda. He embraced this new technology so he could live forever and prowl on young fillies for eternity. His large chin is the housing for his energy cells which give him the power to pollute our airwaves year after year.

The dirty old letch engulfed our airwaves decades ago but has never managed to land his dream job of being the Countdown host. He tried to apply for the job after Whitley’s demise but he insisted on having some blond bimbos on the show. Channel four chiefs did not want to degrade the show and turned down his offer, denying the Forsyth doing the conundrum. They didn’t want the torture of his irritating catchphrase “good game, good game”.

The Picture:

Steve's Big Mistake.

The Words:

Insomniac
Steve
Cockles
Moustache
Normandy
gout

The Story:

Steve had been ridiculed for his 70’s style porn star moustache for as long as I can remember. He was a creature of habit and refused change to fit in to the 21^st century. As stubborn as he was he did not like people talking behind his back and became withdrawn and despondent to people around him. This all got too much for him a couple of years ago. He figured that he needed to go somewhere where he could fit in. At first he thought he would move to Normandy but on research he realised that it was not far enough afield. Eventually he decided to Move to Canada.

In Canada Steve really started to fit in. He was no longer the outcast in society and started to earn a living herding elk. All was going well until he developed gout which rendered it impossible to do his job. His feet had swelled considerably and he was in significant pain. The lack of work and disease had depressed Steve once more, and he began to show signs of being an insomniac.

The lack of sleep had caused Steve to hallucinate. At first it started with swaying images but soon he started to see objects that were not there. This had not caused him any significant harm until he was on a trip with a friend. He was out hobbling along with Walter at the top of a cliff, when the edge of the cliff changed to a cafe with a bowl of cockles. Steve loved cockles and stumbled off the side of the cliff falling over 400ft to his death. Walter looked on in horror as his friend hurtled off the cliff. Walter will never forget the sound of Steve’s bones smashing on the rocks below.

The Picture: