Bono's Blasted Blast Off

The Words:


Megan Fox
Combine harvester
Smooth criminal
Dub Step
Urinate
Kebab
Melons
Waps
Moon landing
P&O European Ferries
Offensive
Complaint
Bono
How now
Googly
Hawkeye
Safari
Puss


The Story:


Bono was on a mission to build a machine that could get him to the moon on a budget. He set to work using old vehicles to build his sensational space craft. The main components that he used were from a washed up P&O European ferry and a combine harvester. Rather than sitting down making drawings and fine tuning his design he slapped bits together and went with the flow. He figured that it was a waste of time to draw designs; he needed to get this thing moving. With a kebab in one hand and a blowtorch in the other he worked on through the night like a demented psychopath. He was nearly done and the craft looked surprisingly like a pair of gigantic waps.

He was not finished yet he needed to decorate the structure. One of the melon shaped spheres he pained a hawkeye and on the other a picture of Megan Fox. He wanted something similar to what war pilots had on their planes. It was finished and Bono looked up at his offensive looking creation with pride. It was time for bed now and when he awoke it would be launch time.

The reason Bono had built his creation was to pay his respects to Michael Jackson. He wanted to go to the moon and do the moonwalk on arrival while listening to “Smooth Criminal” and holding his crouch. Jacko was his favourite act after Dubstep and following his departure he felt it was something he had to do.

Bono woke up and got himself together. First he took a shower and then put on his clothes. He finished off his outfit with a safari jacket before squeezing himself into a space suit. Before he set off to the craft he made sure the spacesuit was set up so he could easily urinate during flight. This was it, Bono strapped himself in and said a quick rendition of “how now brown cow” to calm his nerves. In usual dramatic style the countdown for takeoff was “The final countdown” by Europe. Once the song was complete the engines roared into life and the craft took off. At first all looked good but then the spaceship started to change direction rapidly like a googly ball in cricket. There was a sudden explosion in the sky and this was no sonic boom. The craft split to smithereens and rained down like a like a firework.

Police said that Bono’s body largely evaporated into the atmosphere but a gooey puss was found on part of the wreckage that contained his DNA. Scientists set to work to see if they could resurrect Bono from DNA they found and this is still ongoing. One Scientist believes the goo can be used to make as many as 100 Bono’s. This has not gone down well with the public and has caused more than one complaint.



The Picture: