Where There's A Will There's A Way

The Words:

Catheter Bag
Danny McBanana
Bulldog clip
Faeces
Sellotape
Jaffa cake
Will Young
Will Carling
Will Mellor
William Windsor

Limp
Stump

The Story:

Danny McBanana was on a killing spree and was working his way through all the famous Will’s he could find. He had no reason for this; he just disliked the name Will. He had started by killing random Wills by looking through the phone directory but this wasn’t giving him the thrill he needed anymore, so he’s upped the anti to the big boys.

Danny is a man that gets bored easily, so every murder needs to be a little different. When he murdered Will Young he suffocated him by mummifying him in sellotape. It looked like a human cocoon. With Will Mellor he used just clubbed his victim with a large tree stump. He looked a real mess with his face in a concaved shape where his skull had imploded. Will Carling got the Jaffa cake treatment. He force fed Will Carling Jaffa cakes until he could eat no more. Will had eaten so many that the orange jelly was repeating on him and retracting back up his windpipe. Danny wasted no time and stuffed more three more jaffa’s in his mouth and held his lips together with an industrial sized bulldog clip. Carling gagged on his own vomit.

Today was the big one. He was going to kill the future king of England. This was special the one that would get him world famous throughout the world. He had been planning this for months but he knew this was going to be hard to pull off. William Windsor was attending the opening of a new hospital wing. Danny was lying and waiting in the one of the empty rooms in the hospital. He knew the window of opportunity would be short so he had to get this right. He did not want to alarm anyone so he must be able to make his visit as normal. He would get Windsor on the way out before he got back to the security.

As planned the visit took place and as he was leaving the hospital Danny sprung from the private room and dragged the future monarch into the private room. Danny punched to try and stop William struggling, but William landed Danny with a counterpunch. For a moment Danny thought that the opportunity had gone but he managed to get the situation back under control and forced William on the bed. When Danny killed Carling the before the death the food and fear caused Carling to shit himself. The gagging had been so successful he decided he would gag William with Carlings shit. He knew time was precious so he got to work ramming the limp faeces into William’s mouth and ramming it home with a pallet knife. His victim gagged and spattered shit out over his face but there was too much and he asphyxiated on the fowl smelling poo. Before Danny left he collected a pint of the royal’s blood in a catheter bag he found in the room.

Once Danny got home he used the catheter bag to squeeze the blood over his joobs. He was so turned on, and started to lap up the blood from his mammaries. There was a knock on the door followed by the words “police” open up. He had been followed.

The Picture: